Whether you’re trying to convince your boss to give you a raise, advocating for a social cause, or simply trying to win an argument with a friend, the art of persuasion is a tool that can help you achieve your goals. One aspect of persuasion often overlooked is the importance of not attacking a well-defended position. In this blog post, we will explore this approach and how you can employ it to become a more persuasive communicator.
Understanding Well-Defended Positions
Before delving into the strategies for avoiding attacks on well-defended positions, it’s essential to understand what these positions entail. A well-defended position is one that an individual or group has constructed with strong evidence, reasoning, and emotional investment. It often represents their deeply held beliefs, values, or interests. Attempting to dismantle such a position head-on can lead to resistance, defensiveness, and even entrenchment, making it much harder to persuade the other party.
Why Attacking Fails
Triggering Cognitive Dissonance
When you directly attack someone’s beliefs or ideas, you trigger cognitive dissonance – a state of mental discomfort that occurs when a person holds contradictory beliefs or is confronted with evidence that challenges their existing beliefs. In response, people tend to defend their beliefs even more staunchly, making persuasion difficult.
Strengthening Emotional Ties
Attacking a well-defended position can evoke strong emotional responses. People are more likely to become emotionally attached to their positions when they feel attacked or threatened. This emotional bond can further reinforce their stance and hinder persuasion efforts.
This is often seen in partisan politics but can extend to even the most trivial things like how to properly load a dishwasher.
Reinforcing Identity
People often derive a sense of identity from their beliefs and values. Attacking their positions can be seen as an attack on their identity, which triggers a defensive response. When individuals feel that their identity is under threat, they are less likely to be open to persuasion.
Strategies for Persuasion without Attack
Active Listening
Instead of immediately countering a well-defended position, practice active listening. Show genuine interest in understanding their perspective. Ask open-ended questions to explore their reasoning and motivations. This approach demonstrates respect for their viewpoint, which can encourage reciprocity.
Find Common Ground
Identify shared values or goals that align with your message. By highlighting commonalities, you create a sense of unity and reduce the perception of a direct attack. Discussing sports teams, favorite vacation destinations and the weather are great areas to find commonality.
Present Evidence Thoughtfully
If you have evidence to support your argument, present it in a non-confrontational manner. Use phrases like “I came across some interesting research that might shed light on this” rather than “You’re wrong, and here’s why.”
Acknowledge Valid Points
Even in a well-defended position, there may be valid points or concerns. Acknowledge these and express understanding. This acknowledgment can build trust and make the other party more receptive to your perspective.
Offer Alternatives
Instead of tearing down their position, offer alternative solutions or ideas that can address their concerns while aligning with your goals. This shows a willingness to compromise and find common ground.
Conclusion
The art of persuasion is not about winning battles; it’s about building bridges of understanding and influence. When you encounter a well-defended position, the key to success lies in avoiding direct attacks. By employing strategies like active listening, finding common ground, and presenting evidence thoughtfully, you can increase your chances of persuading others effectively. Remember, the goal is not to defeat your opponent but to engage in a constructive dialogue that leads to mutual understanding and cooperation.
